Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
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You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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