every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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