Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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