Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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