Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
