Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
