Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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