we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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