I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
