I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
