you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
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And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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