the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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