Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
