i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize