I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
