I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
