I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
