okay pat passed out under dana's car
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
