I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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