What a fucking waste of an outfit
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
