im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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