Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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