You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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