i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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