I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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