Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
