One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
