Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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