I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
