I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize