marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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