Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
