hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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