are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
They are going to name an STD after you.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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