I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
