is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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