We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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