But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
