if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
