I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
