i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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