she was so not down for the gang bang
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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