Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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