Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
