Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
