My first STD was from a foam party
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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