I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
