I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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