He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize