i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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