Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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