now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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