I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
