I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize